Is This the End?

After nearly 2 weeks, I recieved a very short email from Her

Focusing on profession

Not personal

All the best

I don't know what to make of this. I can only hope she is not calling everything off. I had so mu8ch hope about where out relationship could be heading. This is a real dampener to my hopes and dreams. I realise she is busy overseas and do not want to bother her with my feelings at the moment. So, for now, all I could do was reply back to her email, begging her to give me a chance to talk to her when she returns.

I will always respect her decision to pursue her professional career. However, I just feel that for all the dedication, devotion and diligence I had shown over the last couple of months, I at least deserved a chance to talk to her about it.

I cannot express how sad I feel about this ending this way.

Missing Her

It would not come as a surprise to anybody that I am missing her dearly. After I made contact with her for the very first time, this is the longest time I have had to endure without any correspondence with her. From the heights of serving her in person, I am now going through the depths of total isolation from her :(

After Thoughts

My two days with Miss were more than I could have hoped for. I never in my wildest dreams had imagined that I would have spent such intimate moments with her on our first meeting. I really am grateful to her for trusting me to such an extent.

The most obviously memorable moments were  when I was allowed to give her a massage and an orgasm to top it off. The time in the shower is another memory I will always remember. It has been a long time fanatasy of mine to serve my Dominant lady in this manner.

 The most defining moments were the instances where she showed her dominance over me as highlighted in this post. Of these the most profound incident was the one on our way to dinner when she ordered me to kiss her feet in public. I felt so weak and intimidated by her at that moment. She was pushing me beyond my limits there yet I could not just walk away from her. I was totally under her spell and I could only bow my head in submission to her and beg her to not make me do it.

Whilst all the above were great and went a long way in fulfiling my long held submissive desires, what I cherished most about my time with Miss were some of the vanilla activities we did while she was in town. It is my hope to serve a Dominant lady as my long term partner and for this to happen I must enjoy vanilla life with her.

She always maintained her dominance and authority over me, but at the same time she always allowed me to express my opinions and also respected them at the same time. Of course whenever she thought I was even slightly out of line, she was very quick to put me in my place.

I cannot wait to see her again. After spending these two days with her, I can see so much potential for our relationship going forward. Not only do I wish to serve her as I did, I would hope for this to go so much futher.

Over the course of this blog I have expressed how I have had desired to be cuckolded, however have always been afraid to actually bring these desires to reality. Having met her I know I am now ready to take my first baby steps into cuckolding. I just hope she sees this potential. Like me, I hope she would like to take things further as well.

Bye Bye Miss :(

Date of occurrence: 17-Apr-12

We woke up at 4 AM so that we could it to the airport by 5 AM. Her bags were almost packed and I helped her get ready. One last time, I kissed her feet and helped her into her shoes.

At the airport, I gave her a hug and she was off. This ended two most amazing days. I really hope I see her again soon. She will be overseas for almost 6 weeks and I will have minimum contact with her. This lack of contact is going to be incredibly hard for me. But I know I have to be patient and endure it.

I am goig to miss her dearly. Cant wait for her to return.

Miss Visiting Day 2 - Masturbation

Date of occurrence: 17-Apr-12

After a busy day, Miss was now tired and getting some sleep in my bedroom. I was to spend the night on the couch in the living room. I was very happy with the way things had gone over the last two days. Despite a few errors, overall I thought I did a good job of serving her and making her stay comfortable and enjoyable.

I had not cum in about a week and thoughts about the intimate moments we had shared; massage, shower, foot worship etc was making me very horny. I took the panties Miss had kindly gifted me earlier and wore them on my head. I had the crotch of her panties covering my nose. As I lay on the couch naked, I inhaled her scent from the crotch of her panties and masturbated.

While I shamlessly masturbated, I thought about all the significant incidents that transpired over the last 2 days. There was also a real possibility (unlikely though) that Miss would walk out into the living room and catch me in the act.

I do not know how she would react. Whether she would chastise me or humiliate me or perhaps just be amused at the sight of me masturbating wearing her panties on my head. At that point I was beyond caring and very horny. In a few moments I had one of the most amazing and emotionally satisfying orgasms. I wish I could have shared it with Miss in some way.

Miss Visiting Day 2 - Where I Belong

Date of occurrence: 17-Apr-12

Her flight was in another 7 hours and she wanted to get a good rest before the flight. I requested her if I could take a picture of me kissing her feet. This is probably the proudest moment of my life as a sub.

This is truly where I belong.

Miss Visiting Day 2 - Punishment

Date of occurrence: 17-Apr-12 

I had recently ordered a flogger for Miss to gift to her when I met her. I took this opportunity to go down on my knees and present it to her. She took and ordered me to get on all fours. She pulled my pants down exposing my buttocks. As she sat on my back, she made me recount all my errors over the last two days. For each error she gave me stroke of the flogger. This punishment was more symbolic rather than painful. It was designed to teach me how to be a better sub to her as opposed to making me suffer.

She also recounted some of the good work I did and gave me a pat on the head as well as a pat on the bum for each.

I am listing my errors and areas of improvement below.

1) Bad directions for fish market on day one leading to waste of time and frustration for Miss

2) Not instantly obeying her when ordered to eat the fish on day two

3) Although she got a nice professional pedicure, it would have been nice to do this inhouse. Like my massage skills, I should aquire skills and tools to give her a manicure and pedicure.

Miss Visiting Day 2 - Show of Dominance

Date of occurrence: 17-Apr-12 

Incident 1 - Fish Market

I quickly finished my lunch as I did not want to keep her waiting. This time, I had taken a proper look at the directions to the fish market and knew exactly how to get there. We walked around the market and the fish shops within. Miss bought a plate of oysters that she shared with me. That was sweet of her.

We explored some more shops and finally got to one where Miss ordered two varities of fish; snapper and something else that I dont recall. She started with the snapper and offered me some to try. As she feasted on it I would take a little bite every now and then. When she was done with it she told me I could have the rest.

She dug into the other fish however it was really dry. Possibly because it had been left standing at the counter for a while. She went to return it as she did not like it at all. As she returned I offered her snapper back to her so she could finish it. She said that was fine and I should have the rest. Of course I didnt want to eat it all while Miss stayed hungry so I insisted she should have it. She assured me that she didnt want any. I still wasnt convinced and answered back that she should have the rest.

At this point Miss looked me staright in the eye and with an air of total authority she said "I said you should have it. Dont make me reapeat myself a third time. Now EAT IT".

I apologised and without another word finished the rest of it. At this point I felt totally dominated. This was a second telling off that I got since her arrival. It wasnt as long or brutal as the first one, but this time it felt more authorotative. The first time she told me off yesterday it felt more like she was venting her frustration. This time she was showing me who was in charge.

Having finished at the market we drove back home. Miss had a laser hair removal appointment a bit later in the day. She ordered me to help her prepare for her appointment. Today she was going to allow me to shower her and at the same time shave her underarms and pubic area. I was incredibly excited at the thought of preparing her in such an intimate manner.

Incident 2 - Shower and Shave

She ordered me to take her clothes off. I respectfully took each item of her clothing off until she was completely nude. On her permission I took my clothes off and my excitement was obvious. As I entered the shower with her my erection just got harder. She made no comment about it.

I adjusted the water temperature until it was comfortably warm. I pulled the handheld shower out of its dock and washed her hair. At one point my very hard cock poked into her soft buttocks. It sent an electrical jolt of excitement through me and caused my cock to twitch with excitement.

As I washed her hair she was standing with her back to me. The bottle of shampoo was on a wall mounted rack in front of her. I reached forward it and at this stage my hard cock poked into her again. I squirted some shampoo into my palm and started to lather her hair. As I continued to lather her hair I took half a step closer to her hair; poking my cock into her yet again.

Out of the blue she turned the hot water off,  pulled the shower head out of the dock and turned the cold spray towards me. Not knowing her intentions I instinctively turned the cold spray off. She turned it back on and told me hold the shower head and spray my hard cock with it until I was soft.

I apologized to her for being so shameless and told her I would not poke into her again. She expressed exasperation at my comment and questioned how I was going to avoid it. She pointed out that it was attached to me and wasnt going anywhere. She wanted to get soft ASAP. All this time I stood there with cold water spraying on my cock. She recalled one of my previous posts where the use of ice to soften my erection did not help too much. I confirmed her recollection to be true by saying "Yes Miss".

"So what are you going to do?" she asked. "Stand there and be miserable?" she added.

Yes Miss is all I could say.

She didn't want to waste any more time and told me get on with her shower and to keep my cock away from her.

I adjusted the water temperature again and continued with her shower. After her hair, I soaped her body and shaved her underarms and pubic area. Again I was so close to her pussy I wanted to kiss and lick it. I maintained my composure and got on with the task at hand. There was no time to be distracted.

After washing off all the soap, I knelt before her and thanked her for giving me the honor of washing her beautiful body. I requested permission to kiss her feet. I kissed each of her wet feet and toes. In the process I sucked up droplets of water off her feet.

As she got ready she wore a very cute dress that was also quite short in length. I loved how cute and adorable she looked in the dress. She did not lose any of her dominance in her cuteness though.

After she was dressed I helped her pack her bags. Her clothes that she jut took off before the shower were lying on the couch. I folded her top and pants and put it in her suitcase. I asked where she would like me to put her panties. She told me I could have them. I knelt before and kissed her feet to thank her. I will cherish this gift.

We drove to her appointment. I dropped her off to find parking and waiting for text to let me know when she was done.

Incident 3 - Dinner

I didnt have to wait long. It was raining so I asked her to wait for me to come and get her. We walked back to my under the cover of my umbrella. She was hungry and ready for dinner. She asked me if I new of any spicy restaurants. I thought out loud "Spiceeyy". She had a chuckle and said "You look intimidated". It was amazing the effect she had on me and how easily she read me. I was indeed worried about dissapointing her and it must have been obvious in my tone and also must have showed on my face.

She did some online research and we settled on a restaurant about 20-30 mins from where we were. We got there and found parking nearby. As were walking to the restaurant, I accidentaly got in her way and knocked her left sandal of her foot. I picked it up and bent over to place it in front of her so she could step back into it.

As I stood back up and said sorry, I saw a stern look on her face and heard her say "Kiss IT". She looked like she meant it but I wasnt sure and was really taken aback. With a confused look I asked "Serious?" Without blinking she said "Yes". I was shocked and at this point very nervous.

She continued to stare me down and the longer it went on the weaker I felt. I was so determined not to disspoint and disobey her, that for a split second I almost considered going down on my knees to kiss her feet. Somehow I found the courage to remain standing and with the most begging eyes and a pleading voice I said "Please, not here Miss."

"Dont do it again" she said. It was such a relief. At that point she really showed her dominance over me. It was such an outrageous demand to make me kiss her feet in public like that. Yet, I couldnt just outright reject her. I have such a need to please her that I could only beg her to not make me do it. I was grateful for her understanding and so releived she accepted my apology.

Dinner was again a bit of drama unfortunately. We ordered Okra to begin which was good. Sadly, they messed up the next dish when instead of chicken they brought beef. This totally killed her mood and I finished my meal as quickly as I could. Once home, Miss ordered me to give her a massage.

I did not need a second invitation to massage her. Owing to her laser treatment, she told me to avoid her pubic area. She also ordered me to concentrate on her buttocks as they were sore.

Miss Visiting Day 2 - Errands and Lunch

Date of occurrence: 17-Apr-12 

I had been up most of the night working. I managed to catch a few winks while I worked from my couch in the living room. Miss woke up in the morning finding me asleep on the couch. She gently woke me up tell me to go sleep comfortably on my bed inside.

She was going to run some errands nearby and wouldn't need my assistance to get about. I gave her a brief on where the post office and pharmacy were and how to get to the salon we went to yesterday. Once her work at the salon was completed I was to meet her at the mall. This gave me another couple of hours to rest.

When she got to the salon she sent me a text giving me 45 mins notice to meet her at the mall. I did my morning duties etc and text her when I was ready to leave.

I've listed our exchange of text messages below

Miss: At salon so prob 45 min notice

Miss: Any local seafood? I will ask market

Where are they?

Me: Ok...I'll see you soon. There a fish shop at the mall. We could give the market another shot too.

Miss: Drive or bus to mkt?

Miss: Art gallery first :)

Me: Drive...I'm leaving now. Be at mall in 10

Me: Ok..art gallery first

Miss: You should eat first

Miss: Then drive

Me: Thank you Miss :) Just had an Apple. I'll have a fruit bun then text you

I highlighted this exchange to show her caring side. When she said I should eat something it really felt good to know she was concerned about my well being. As a sub it is this sort of care and affection from a dominant that motivates me to be a better sub.

I finished my little breakfast and headed to the mall. As decided earlier we started walking towards the art gallery we had planned to visit. Before she arrived in town Miss had told me to research events and performances she might like to see. Over the weeks I have learnt a bit about about her likes and suggested a Glass Art gallery. She was impressed with my choice and once again it was nice to get positive feedback about my work.

As we walked towards the gallery we saw a nice Nepalese restaurant that served goat curry. We made a note to come back here for lunch. Miss loves spicy food and she especially likes the Indian subcontinental cuisine.

I am not much of an arts person. However, it was nice to appreciate something different in her company. Some of the glass work at the gallery was quite impressive. Miss had done some glass making of her own in the past. She explained to me the basic process of glass making which was nice to learn. This is another thing I have enjoyed about hanging out with her. She has a lot of experience in extra curricular activities, like boating, hiking, health & fitness, food and as I now learnt glass making as well. It is quite a learning experience just being with her.

We spent about 30 mins at the gallery and then headed to the Nepalese restaurant for lunch. We were really looking forward to the goat curry. I have to say it did not disappoint. The meat was really tender and just melted in your mouth. Miss had a taste and quite enjoyed it as well, however she wasn't yet keen on having a full lunch. She wanted to try the fish markets that I had missed yesterday.

Miss Visiting - Day 1 - The show

Date of occurrence : 16-Apr-12

I had a quick shower and proceeded to get dressed. Once again Miss was very impressed with how I dressed. I was wearing a very smart shirt from Zara. It was dark blue with a very slight tinge of green to soften the blue. I also wore a pair of black trousers from Kenneth Cole with very fine white pin stripes. My shoes were of the pointy end style from Apostle.


Before Miss arrived into town, she had told me to have a plan and look for any shows, events or exhibitions that might interest her. I had a basic idea of what her likes were and picked this show for her. The show we were going to was a string quarter on violins and a cello accompanied by an oboist. She was happy with my choice as these were instruments she enjoyed listening to. Unlike the disappointment with the café and fish market I was really hoping this would live up to her expectation.


As the show was downtown I expected parking to be a problem. Miss was once again kind enough to accept my suggestion of taking public transport. We arrived there without incident and comfortably in time for the show to start. The show lasted about 2 hrs and was quite enjoyable. It wasn’t great by any means, but it was still entertaining and Miss was pleased we attended.


We had both had a long day (especially Miss as she had not had much sleep from previous night) and she was about ready to hit the bed. Back home she quickly got ready for bed and I wished her G’Night as she tucked herself in to my bed. I closed the bedroom door so she could sleep peacefully. My night was not over yet. I work shifts and thankfully tonight, instead of heading to office I was able to work from home. So I spent the rest of the night sitting in the living room in front of the computer working the night away.


It was an eventful and eye opening day spent with Miss. Despite the poor start to the day it ended well and overall Moss was pleased with me. That is all that matters to me. My duty to Miss is to ensure her happiness.

Miss Visiting - Day 1 - Massage

Date of occurrence : 16-Apr-12

She was finally ready for the much anticipated massage. I quickly setup the massage table, turned the lights down, lit some candles and the oil burner. Soon, the atmosphere was ready for a relaxing and sensual massage. She undressed herself and I was totally mesmerised by her beautiful hourglass body. She has a pert and cute B cup bust, a sexy & toned tummy with a slim waist, gorgeous well defined legs, an amazing shapely butt and absolutely flawless skin. I already felt privileged to be serving her as I did through the day and all those weeks through the blog. But at this moment it really hit me how incredibly fortunate I am to be pleasing her so intimately (especially on the first day of meeting her)


As she lay head down on the table, I got some oil and spread it across her back. I started with some firm long strokes going all the way from the small of her back up to her shoulders. I applied various other strokes to take the tension out of her back and to help her relax. After her back, I concentrated on her shoulder where most of the tension usually is. She commented that it felt nice…always nice to hear :)


I then moved down to her legs. Again I, spread some oil along her calves and hamstrings. Using long effleurage stokes all the way from the ankles to her buttocks I massaged her entire leg. Again, I used a variety of different strokes to keep the massage interesting. As my strokes went up to the buttocks, on the own stroke I would massage her inner butt cheeks and inner thighs getting very close to her back entrance and pussy. I was getting a very close view of both her backdoor. She has a nice puckered hairless orifice that I would have just loved to use my tongue on. I salivated and licked my lips at the thought of burying my face between her cheeks and massage her rosebud with my tongue. Anyway, I did not want to take any undue liberties and continued with the massage.


After having done the back of her legs, I had her turn over and lay on her back. My eyes instantly went to her pussy. She has a beautiful, almost virginal looking pussy. I say virginal not because she was entirely hairless down there, but because there were no signs of wear and tear. The folds of her pussy lips were so tightly guarding and completely hiding her entrance and her clitoris. Once again, I couldn’t get the thought of licking her there and tasting her sweet juices out of my mind.


I quickly snapped out of it and put my mind back to the massage. I spread some oil over the abs, upper chest and around the breasts. I used very gentle and soothing strokes. I massaged her around the breasts leading into the shoulders. Then I did the front of her legs. I used similar technique to what I did on the back of her legs. At the tope of her thighs I would turn hands inwards to her inner thighs and get really close to her pussy with my strokes. This always has a teasing effect on the lady at the receiving end.


As I finished her full body massage I wanted to get more intimate. Finally I summoned the courage to ask her if I could massage her more intimately. She briefly opened her eyes and said “Yes”. I didn’t show it but I was ecstatic. This was turning out to be an amazing day :)


I dipped my index finger and thumb into the oil and gently massaged her outer lips. I gently tugged on each of her outer lips and squeezed them between my fingers. Then I took the hood of her clit into my fingers and stroked her clit externally. After I thought she was ready, I slowly inserted the middle finger of my left hand into her pussy. Her natural wetness allowed for easy entry.


I massaged her inner walls all over. Eventually I started concentrating my efforts on the upper wall of her pussy about 2-3 inches deep. I massage this area with come hither motions of my middle finger. To add to the stimulus, I used my thumb and middle finger of the right hand to pull back on her hood and expose the clitoris. I used some of her natural juices to wet the index finger on my right hand and then stroked her exposed clitoris.


Miss took a second to tell me I was doing good. I needed no further encouragement. I increased the intensity of my internal and clitoral massage. Soon her breathing started to get heavy and she said “keep going”. My stroking became more vigorous. In a few moments she started moaning out loud and soon after she lifted her back off the table and had an orgasm. This was such a proud moment for me.


I helped her cool down with some gentle and loving stroking of her legs and abdomen. Then I rand a towel over her body to take any residual oil off. She was quite pleased with the choice of oil we picked today and complemented on the recommendation I gave about going for a water dispersible variety. The fact that it was Jojoba water dispersible was her choice of course.


As she came down from her orgasm, I gave her a quick foot massage while she lay on the table. Unfortunately we had a show to attend downtown and were pressed for time. Otherwise I would have preferred to give her a proper foot massage by having her sit on the couch while I sat on the floor. Her feet would be resting on a comfortable foot cube that would give me proper access to her feet. This allows me to really work on the feet and makes for a much more enjoyable experience for the recipient.


When I was done, she stepped off the table and commended me on my massage technique; both for the relaxation I provided and for helping her reach an orgasm with my fingers. She commented that I had a very nice touch that was firm but not too hard. This was so good to hear and I thanked her for kind words.


As she stepped into the shower I politely asked her if I could help her shower. She declined and said “Not right now”. I respectfully stepped out of the shower to let her finish. In a few mins I heard her call out to me. I rushed to her and there she stood; with her wet body looking amazingly beautiful in her nudity. She ordered me to pat her dry.


Well, if I couldn’t help in the shower, this was the next best thing and I was absolutely delighted at this. Gently and carefully I towelled her dry. As I finished, I knelt before and respectfully asked her if I could kiss her feet. She said “Yes”.


This was IT!!! Finally the moment had arrived where I would achieve my first dream of placing myself where I belong “At her feet”. I documented this desire in a previous blog My Submissive Core. I lowered my head to her feet and planted my first kiss to her right foot. I kissed it a couple more time and then kissed her left foot. I looked up to her and with most sincere of gratitude, I said “Thank You Miss”. It was so wonderful to be in this position; looking up to her and thanking her for the opportunity of serving her.


As I moved to get up from my position, she sent me right back with these words “And the Toes”. With a very obedient “Yes Miss”, I was back down kissing each of her lovely toes. Again I looked up to her and couldn't thank her enough. She gave me permission to stand up and get ready for the show we were attending.

Miss Visiting - Day 1 - Meeting, Greeting and a Harsh Lesson

Date of occurrence : 16-Apr-12

Finally the day had arrived when I was going to meet Miss for the very first time. Not only that, I she was going to be spending 2 whole days with me. I would be her escort, friend and servant for an amazing 48 hrs. I picked her up early at the airport. She was arriving via a 5 hr overnight flight. As she got in the car I gave her a bouquet of yellow and white roses. She liked my choice and asked me why I chose these colours. I told her the other colours were red and pink which I did not think were appropriate at this stage. She was impressed and said “Good choice”. I was quite pleased by this.

She also complemented me on my all black dress up. I was wearing a stylish black shirt from Kenneth Cole. The shirt was not just plain black. It had stripes that were of a lighter shade of black. I also had a pair of black faded denim from CK and a pair of black flat head smart casual shoes from Kenneth Cole.


Naturally she was tired and hungry. I expected this and had already planned to take her to a nice café I knew. The café also had an outside that I knew she would like. However, when we arrived there she decided inside as the noise outside would make conversation difficult. She liked the décor and out of habit also looked at online reviews for the café. She was satisfied with my choice of café


Unfortunately for her and I, they were unable to make her omelette to her specification. She then ordered another dish that appealed to her ( a pumpkin salad). Things got worse as the salad did not taste good at all. While I was enjoying my omelette, she was sitting hungry. This made me a bit uncomfortable but her relaxed and calm attitude at the time made me quickly forget about it.


We finished breakfast and then headed to a store that specialised that sold beauty products and massage oils. Before her arrival Miss had asked me to get some hemp seed oil. I had found this store by online some online research. Their online catalogue confirmed that they had the product we were looking for. When we arrived we were surprised at how unexpectedly huge the store was and the vast collection of their products. Seeing the wide range of massage oils we took our time testing several of them.


I recommended to Miss that we pick some oil from the water dispersible category. In my experience these are easily absorbed by the skin and are easily rinsed off by just using water in the shower. In fact, when not used excessively, even a shower is not necessary. Just a simple towelling after the massage takes the residual oil off leaving the skin moisturised but not oily. We eventually decided to pick up the Jojoba water dispersible massage oil.


From their Miss wanted to get something to eat and decided that she would like to go to the famous fish market. I knew the area it was in but was unfamiliar with the exact route to the place. I set the location in my GPS and followed the directions. Unfortunately when we were close to the market, I missed the exit and that meant I would have to take a long way around to get back.


Miss was obviously disappointed. She then suggested we go downtown to a restaurant a friend of her hers had recommended. I pointed out that we should probably park my car where we were and take the bus downtown. We stepped of the bus at a point closest to the restaurant. His was still a good 10-15 min walk away. Eventually we got there and took a seat. As we browsed through the menu, Miss realised they were no longer serving the dish she wanted to eat.


This really frustrated her and she said she wasn’t going to eat here. She abruptly got up and started to walk away. I sensed her distress and quickly followed her. I was going to put a comforting arm around her and ask her if she was ok. She snapped back at me and told in a very harsh tone “DON’T TOUCH ME!!!”


I was taken aback. She launched into a verbal assault on me about how she had been up all night and it was now coming up to noon without her having caught a wink of sleep and a bite to eat. She chastised me for the initial choice of café where they wouldn’t make her dish to specification and for not having proper directions to the fish market. She accepted that the downtown restaurant was partly her fault as she did not call to check if they had the particular dish on menu.


I was completely shattered and my feelings were quite hurt. I accept responsibility for not getting better directions to the fish market. Before she arrived into town, she had mentioned that she would like to visit the fish market. I should have done my research in advance and should have been better prepared with the directions. I thought that blaming me for the café was a bit harsh as there was no way I could have known they wouldn’t make an omelette with just egg whites.


Anyway, I realised that she was really tired and hungry and was within her rights to be frustrated and angry at the turn of events. I knew as her sub I will sometimes have to be her punching bag to let her frustration out on. Even so, it did hurt me. I did not try to say anything in my defence. Instead, I apologised for how things had turned out. Trying to defend myself would have been disastrous and would have further fuelled her frustration. This was not part of my plan and certainly not how I wanted to treat her.


Of course, as a good sub, instead of seeing this as a total let down, I saw there was a lesson to be learned in all of this. I could not take anything for granted with Miss especially when it comes to her food. She is very particular about it and I know I will have to be on my toes from here on. For most part she is very clam, soft spoken, friendly and easy to talk to. However, there is no room for error with her. You will know when a mistake has been made as she does not mince any words about it.


We took the bus back to where I had parked my car in the mall. Just there we saw a beauty parlor that offered manicures and pedicures. She decided she would like to get this out of the way. While she got her beauty treatment, she told me to get something to eat for myself as it was lunch time. I was now having my second meal for the day while she had had none. It made me feel very guilty.


While I was eating she text me asking where a certain Chinese restaurant was that served spicy food. Thankfully it was only a 5 min walk from the salon. I finished my lunch and waited for her outside the salon. As soon as she finished her treatment, we walked to the Chinese restaurant. She looked over the menu and finally she was able to order something she was going to like. Her hunger was eventually sated and it was nice to see her beautiful smile :)


More than the smile, there was another significant gesture. She gently touched my arm and with a smile on her face she said “I feel much better now”. I was naturally very pleased to hear that she was feeling better. However, more than that, her gentle touch to my arm made me feel really good. It showed she cared and I felt that she was trying to comfort me a little from the tongue lashing I had received earlier in the day.


She had some more touch up work to do at the salon. I waited for her to finish and then we drove home. It was nice to finally welcome her to my cozy apartment. As soon as she entered she made a positive comment on the floor boards. I served her some water and placed her luggage in a corner. We chatted for a bit while she settled down. It was just wonderful to have her home. I have never had a Dominant lady visit my apartment before and this was a major milestone in my life as a sub. I was so proud and honoured to be serving her at my apartment.

Coming to Town

A few days ago Miss had let me know that she would be visiting my city soon. Her plans at that time were not concrete so I stopped myself from getting too excited. Today though I can't control my excitement any longer. Yesterday I learnt that her visit was confirmed for Tue. I put in an application for a day off from work which was thankfully approved. So I am now free to serve my Miss all day when she is in town :-)

She called me in the morning but unfortunately I was driving and couldn't answer. She left me a voicemail with instructions to look up a spa that offered a full body massage as well as beat treatments like manicure and pedicure. As I was doing this research I was a bit disappointed that she did not ask me to give her one myself. At the same time I understood that she may have wanted a proper pampering from a professional spa.

A few minutes later, as I was still researching options, I got a text from her asking me if I would do the massage.

Miss: You massage?

Me: Yes Miss. I do and with great pleasure. Cannot match what a professional would do but has ever given me a negative review :)

Me: I have a massage table, massage oils, scented oil, candles...the works. Do a lovely foot massage too.

Miss: I prefer that
Esp after reading your blog

Me: Lovely Miss...it would be an absolute pleasure and privilege. This is what my setup looks like

Miss: Very nice
Also what scent is it?

Me: Sandalwood

Me: Thank you Miss. Glad you like it :)

Me: I also have a lavender & sandalwood scented candle. If you prefer another scent like Jasmine I'd be happy to procure some.

Miss: Lav and san sound lovely


I was absolutely delighted about this. My mind was racing at the thought of touching her beautiful body. I was excited in more ways than one. At this stage I couldn't help touching myself a little (actually more than a little).

Once her massage needs were planned out, Miss let me know that she would like to have an eyelash perm done while she is here. I quickly started looking at beauty salons that offered this. I found a couple and eventually booked an appointment for her at a parlor about 15 mins from my place.

I also offered to pick her up from the airport and was very pleased that she accepted my offer. If all goes to plan I will be spending a lot of quality time with her. This is something I am very thrilled about as never in my wildest dreams did I expect to be serving her to such an extent on our first meeting. I should be very grateful to her for giving me this opportunity and also for trusting me to take care of her.

Thank You Miss. I eagerly await your arrival.

Punishment?

In response to my last post about letting Miss down with my research into Virtual Assistants, this the text message I got from her.

Not just days to return sale inquiry
But hours of operation
Full time
Etc

Good thing you bought that strap
Clearly she is still a little miffed about it. I do not know if she was kidding about the strap or does she really intend to deliver some punishment with that toy. Either way, I know my work was not up to the high standards Miss expects and deserves. So, I will graciously accept any punishment she deems appropriate.

Once again, I apologise Miss.

Virtual Non-Assistants

Following my efforts in researching virtual assistants for Miss, I was very pleased with myself. I thought I had done quite a good job in short listing firms that looked promising. I then wrote a document with reviews and recommendations for each of these firms. Miss was pretty impressed by the initial report and that made me very happy...as it always does when she is pleased with my work.

This unfortunately did not last very long. Miss made contact with the companies I had recommended and was quickly disappointed with the lack of promptness in their communication. Naturally I felt partially responsible as it was I that recommended them. Miss called me to let me know of her frustration. She never directly blamed me but I couldn't help but feel that she thought I could have done a better job.

After hearing of her experience I felt very disappointed for letting her down...even though I am not sure if I could have done any better given a second chance. Instead of being a time saver this whole exercise actually cost her a lot of her precious time. So I decided to offer my help in making the first contact with the companies on her behalf. This would atleast save her the time and trouble of filling out contact forms.

With this effort I hope to make up to her.

Catching Up

Miss had expressed a need for an on online personal assistant and wanted me to do some research for her.

This is not an area I was familiar with. So after my initial research I sent her a couple of links to organisations that I thought would be able to offer her what she was looking for. This was only to get an understanding of whether I was on the right track.


She quickly confirmed that I was. Then for most of Fri evening I spent several hours doing more in depth research into these companies. I decided to shortlist a few and then provide my own summary and recommendations for each. I based my recommendations on the cost as well as independent reviews that I read for most of them. Finally on sat morning I had finished the document. I sent it to Miss hoping it was done to her satisfaction.

This morning (mon) I got a call from her about the review. We discussed the various options and her needs to try and decide which company to go for. Miss was very pleased with the time and effort I had put into the research.

We also spent some time making light conversation and shared a few laughs. It was really nice to catch up with her over a prolonged conversation. I also really liked how we were just able to talk to each other and share opinion without the D/s dynamics coming into play.

As always I was very happy to hear from her and texted her back as soon as we hung up.


Me: It was great to catch up Miss. I am really loving my service to you. Thank You.

Miss: ........

she sent another picture of herself.

Me: So pretty Miss. Thank You so much. I'm a lucky boy :)

I absolutely love this picture of her. It is very similar to the last face pic she sent. But I like this one better. I think what I like about this one is that her hair are loose and not tucked behind her ear like in the last one. A very minor and subtle change, but I notice these little things because I love the look of long hair properly framing a pretty face :)

A few mins later Miss called again and told me to think of something nice. I was a little confused at first. Then she told me she was in a cranky mood and wanted me to think of something nice for her to do that would make her feel better.

I instantly thought of what I would have done in such a situation. I would have loved to massage her feet and suggested a foot massage. She thought that was a great idea and she would go for a full body massage as soon as the place would open.

We then talked about the different massage techniques that she enjoys. Whilst I am not a professional, I am trained in basic Swedish relaxation massage. Through out this conversation I was thinking to myself "I wish I was in the same city as her so I could have given her a massage myself."

She must have sensed what I was thinking and mentioned having the same thoughts. It left me incredibly frustrated. Despite my frustration, I was still pleased to know that Miss would have been happy to allow me the pleasure of giving her a massage. That meant a lot as this was the first time she had suggested the possibility of such an intimate task for me.

Hopefully, time and situation permitting, this dream of mine may come true next week when she visits my city. Of course I realise on our first meet we will most likely just be getting to know each other better rather than indulging in anything intimate. I know patience and good service are the key to Miss's heart and body. As long as I adhere to these, I know I will eventually be well rewarded by her.

BackPacks

A couple of weeks ago, Miss had expressed an interest in buying a backpack. She was looking for something that was feminine and easy to handle. I found some that I think suit her needs. These are mostly for day to day use and more like a replacement for a large handbag.

1) These are some very classy high end designer backpacks. Obviously, they are on the expensive side.

http://www.longchamp.com/en/bags-back-pack-women-255.html

This is my favorite colour and design from the range. Valued at USD 660 :)

2) Here is one that I think closely matches her requirements. Its feminine and has a bit of style (not the typical backpacker style). It is also reasonably priced at USD 170

http://www.shopbop.com/journeyman-backpack-alternative/vp/v=1/845524441931641.htm?folderID=2534374302055388&fm=other-shopbysize-viewall&colorId=13711

3) Some more interesting designs here especially on page 1 and 2

http://www.shoebuy.com/womens-backpack-handbags.htm
http://www.shoebuy.com/womens-backpack-handbags/p2.htm

Sadistic Streak?

Our text messages about my spanking did not just end with the last post. There was something very interesting that I discovered about Miss from the next few texts that followed.

Miss: In my experience

Miss: Metal spatula with cut outs leaves blisters in the shape of those cut outs
Like hearts for valetines day

Miss: In a pinch I improvise
2 months ago I used the power cord off a kettle
And shoved his head under the desk
So the back on his head hit the desk with each stroke if he didnt keep perfectly perched on my thighs

Me: Wow Miss. The metal spatula and the improvisation with the desk under head are so cruel. Didn't realise there a sadistic streak behind your sweet face.

Miss: That power cord really did the trick


Me: Just curious. If I may ask. Was the power chord whipping a punishment for an error or because you thought it would be fun?

Miss: punishment

Me: Not that I need another reminder but I can see I really don't want to piss you off :)


This revelation although not shocking, did catch me a bit off guard. I was never under any illusion that Miss was firm in her ways and was not one to put up with undisciplined behavior. However I did not foresee her desire to dish out punishment especially not in the painfully creative ways mentioned above. In my mind I saw her as a soft & sensual Domme with a firm will. I guess one must never judge a Dominant Lady by her sweet looks.

This display of her sadistic nature just made me realise that there is so much for us to learn about each other. I was very pleased with the fact that Miss decided to reveal this side of her to me.

Predictably this got me very excited and naturally when I get excited my right hand is rendered useless for any productive work. So I was required to multitask for most of the exchange of texts above (texting with the left and playing with the right).

Aside from my expected feelings of excitement whenever Miss communicates with me (no matter the medium of communication), her talk of punishing another sub also made me feel a tiny bit jealous. Whenever Miss narrates any instance of play with another sub it makes me quite envious. My envy is fueled from the fact that they get to experience her dominance real time in her presence. I hope the day is not too far when I get to feel her dominant touch and aura in person.

Until then I will keep blogging and continue to please her in the only way I can.

So Happy

Some more exciting feedback from Miss. She loved my spanking fantasy so much that she said this was her second favorite post from me.

Miss: Very interesting
This is my second favorite entry

The above text made me very happy. But not as much as her next text.

Miss: Your blog gives me so much to look forward to
This very simple sentence from her meant so much to me. Most importantly it gave me the reassurance that Miss is once again very happy with me as she had been before my upsetting post. It also gave me a feeling that she was eventually looking to take things a lot further. This is very important to me because when the time is right I do want things to progress far beyond blogging and texting.


There is another reason I am so happy. Miss was kind enough to send me another awesome picture of her. This picture is by far my favorite of her. It is so far the closest look that I have gotten of her pretty face. I was also able to look into her beautiful eyes. That instantly evoked within me feelings of immense submission to her and it felt really good to have those feelings. She also had a very sweet and happy smile on :-) 

Thank You Miss for sharing this pic with me.

Spanking Fantasy

Miss was quite pleased with my effort at flogging myself. She really liked the pics and this made me really happy. We exchanged a few text messages about it.

Miss: good work
how many strokes and licks did it take?

Miss: what did you think about?

Me: Thank you Miss. Glad you liked it. I didn't count. But it was definitely over 50. Some were mishits though.

Me: Also about 50 to my ass. I thought if you Miss. I so wish it was you flogging my naked back and ass as you take me deeper into submission to you.

Miss: careful what you wish for

Me: I know Miss. Can't help it though. Do you enjoy giving discipline with floggers, paddle etc?

Miss: yes
spankings esp

Me: I just imagined myself getting spanked over your knee. It gave me quite a rush when you ordered me to flog myself.

Miss: thats my favorite position

Me: Oh Miss my imagination is running wild I see myself getting bare handed spanking followed by a hairbrush and paddle as you scold me for mistake from last week.

Me: Even though scolding may not be your style I am imagining it and it is making me very excited. In reality though I must say scolding is not something I crave.


In my fantasy....


Miss is sitting on a chair wearing a very short black dress showing ample cleavage and a whole lot of her sexy legs. She orders me to pull my pants down. I quickly comply. She then yanks my underwear down and bends me over her knee. My cock makes contact with her luscious thighs and it gets me quite excited.


She gently parts her legs to let my cock and balls slip between thighs. She quickly squeezes them back together and I let out a whimper as my balls are now in more than a little discomfort locked between her thighs. She starts with a little warm up with her hand gradually building the intensity. My butt cheeks start to warm up and soon they start stinging a little.


She ups the ante by using a heavy plastic hairbrush. I am starting to struggle. This causes more discomfort and pain in my cock and balls as they locked between her thighs. After about 10-15 strokes she stops and gently caresses my now very red buttocks. This feels very comforting and as I close my eyes to soak it in, I feel so submissive to Miss and so happy to be feeling this way.


Miss wasnt quite finished yet. She started again, this time with a small wooden paddle. I was certainly not expecting this. This really hurt and I was now screaming with every stroke. Luckily she only gave me 10 and I was incredibly relieved when it was over. I thanked her for the spanking and kissed her feet.

Anyone that has been reading this blog regularly would know that this exchange of messages got me very excited and needless to say I was texting with one hand and playing with myself with the other. I did not let Miss know about this on text because I know it annoys her when I constantly send messages to her about my uncontrolled masturbation.

I would also like to assure Miss, that although I enjoy mild to medium levels of discipline, I would never deliberately commit an error to induce punishment. I much prefer to do a good job and hear words of encouragement & positive reinforcement as opposed to being punished for ineptitude.

Self Flogging

Even though the flogger I bought was not exactly what Miss was looking for, she quite liked it. She was curious to know what kind of marks this would leave, and yesterday she ordered me to post pics. I clarified with her if she was suggesting that I should flog myself. She instantly replied with a 'yes'.

I had physio appointment this morning, so I requested permission from Miss to be allowed to do the flogging after. She was quite understanding (as she always is :) and granted me her permission.

So, this afternoon I got my flogger and tried to give myself as many strokes as I could. I tried to deliver the strokes as hard as I could. Whilst I did push myself a little I have to admit that I could have pushed harder. The marks did come out quite well. Unfortunately the pictures do not show them as well as I would have liked...especially on my ass.

Anyway, here are a couple of pics of the results of my self flogging. I hope one day Miss will take that flogger to my back and ass and leave her own marks.

Flogger

Almost three weeks ago, Miss had given me a description of a flogger she was looking for. Essentially its a three tail flogger. I did some research and found something similar to what she had described to me over the phone.

I sent her a picture via MMS. She confirmed that it was close but not quite what she wanted. Anyway, I thought it couldn't hurt to order it regardless. I finally recieved it in the mail yesterday. I would dearly love to present this to Miss when we meet sometime in the future. Situation permitting I see myself kneeling before her as I respectfully present it to her.

Surprise

After I published the post title "feeling upset", Miss had ignored all my texts, emails and basically terminated all manner of communication with me. I realised my error even before the silent treatment had started. The first 2 days of being ignored were absolutely torturous. On the second day I published another post "silence" wondering whether I would ever hear from again. In this post I also made an attempt at apologising to Miss and hoping for her forgiveness.

To my utter disappointment, I noticed that she had ignored this post too. I was left absolutely dejected and by the 4th day I had resigned myself to the fact that I had lost any chance of reconciling with her. Even so, I still maintained a slight glimmer of hope that she may find just a tiny bit of compassion to give me one more chance...but I wasn't holding my breath on it.

Throughout these days I would think of her and the conversations we had. Her sweet voice would play in my head wanting to hear it again. I deliberately avoided reading any or our text message and email exchanges as that would just compound my sad feelings of rejection.

This morning, I woke up to the phone ringing. It was from Miss!!! I jumped to answer it...to hear her voice again was just amazing. She politely asked if she woke me up. I told her that was not a bother by any means. I was just delighted to hear from her and listen to her voice again :)

As usual, the conversation was very short as she had to abruptly hang up. But this time I was still smiling on the other end. I quickly sent her a text message to thank her.

Me: Thanks for calling Miss. So nice to hear from you :)


Miss: Perhaps I was too harsh


Me: And I was a bit rash :)

After an almost unbearable week of her punishment I have learnt a very harsh lesson. I am very thankful to Miss for reconsidering my service to her. If she were standing before me I would be kneeling before her and kissing her feet in gratitude. But for now, this is the best I can do.

Silence

After my last post about getting upset, Miss has not returned any of my text messages nor made any comment about the post. She has also so far ignored my email that I sent with information about some of her likes.

I do understand that Miss would be disappointed in my moment of Madness that I displayed in my last post. Rather than getting upset I should have trusted her judgement on the decision to meet or not. Up until this point I had been advocating the need for patience and had mostly done a good job of it. In one instance I appear to have undone all the hard work, trust and respect I had built with Miss over the last several weeks.

Unfortunately I cannot take back my words. The only thing I can do is to continue working on the tasks she has assigned to me and hope that Miss would find it in her heart to forgive me for my stupidity. With this post I would also like to sincerely apologise to her for disrespecting her.

I would like to assure Miss that this will never be repeated. I always learn from my mistakes and assure her that it will not happen again. Her silence is really punishing and a very harsh lesson. I can only hope this is temporary and not permanent.

Please Miss I am so sorry for what I said in my last. If only I could get one more chance to make things right, I would be very grateful for your kindness. I will always accept whatever information you give to me as sufficient to my knowledge. It is not my place to question your manner of communication. As your sub and potential cuck it is I who needs to be able to work around it.

I hope I do hear from you again real soon Miss.

Feeling Upset

Late afternoon yesterday at 4:45 PM, I looked at my phone and saw a missed call from Miss at 3 PM. There was also a notification of voicemail and a text message from her. She left me a message to say that she would be visiting my city today and to call her back.

Naturally I called her back but couldn't get through so I replied to her text.

3:00 PM

Miss: called

got voicemail

meet me early am?

do you drive?

4:45 PM

Me: Sorry...missed your call. Was in a meeting. Do excited you are coming to 'city' :) yes, I drive. What time will you be here?

A couple of hours later....

6:10 PM

Miss: morning again

how early can you do?

At 6:22 PM I called Miss to sort out a time to meet. She answered only to tell me she couldn't talk at the moment. So I text her back with my preference.

6:26 PM

Me: I get home at 2.30 am tonight. So around 10 would be good. Does that suit you? Please call me later if you can. Just txt before calling so I will be ready.

At  7:05 PM for the next 10 mins we had thins exchange.

Miss: too late

Me: I can meet earlier. Whatever time suits you.10 was just a preference. What is the latest you can do? Are you spending the day in 'city' it just transit?

Me: Are you spending day in 'city' or just transit?

Miss: not spending a day

i have an appointment at 8 am

Miss: but missed connecting train so may not even make my flight

Me: :( hope you make it. Were you looking to meet after your appointment or before?

Miss: before

Me: Sure...I can do that. Just let me know where.

Miss: wouldnt park though

could prob go w to appt

Miss: airport

Miss: if i make flight

battery flat

Me: Sorry...I am confused. You'd like me to take you to the appt or airport or both? Or have I got it all wrong?

Then there was nothing until 3 hours later 10:15 PM

Miss: i can take train in

Me: Not sure what you mean. Are you in 'city' now?

Me: Trying to call you. Can't get through. What time would you like to meet & where. It would be nice to know in advance so I can be ready.

There was to be no more communication last night.

With that last message I went home after work with a sinking feeling that we were not going to meet. I was a little bewildered at the lack of clarity in the communication. Over several text messages and attempts to speak on the phone I was unable to get time-lines of her visit. I still did not know when she would arrive in 'city' and how much time she would spend. Owing to this lack of detail I was unable to suggest the most appropriate time to meet. This made me feel quite frustrated to the point it got me upset.

I felt upset because I couldn't help but feel that there wasn't enough information forthcoming on her part to plan our meeting properly. Yes, it was her that first suggested we meet and I am very thankful for that. However, I felt that were there more detail given to me in the communication, we could have planned it better.

Early in the morning today at 7.30 AM I received a message confirming what I feared last night

Miss: sigh

maybe next time

again

Me: :( you dont have any time after your appointment?

Miss: no

Me: Maybe we'll be 3rd time lucky. The chocolates are still waiting :)

Me: So am I Miss :)

Miss: next time will probably be normal notice

this time was a day

normal is less than 2 hours

Miss: ciao

Me: Next time I only get 2hr notice to see you?

I really did not know what to make of the comment about 2 hr notice and again felt quite confused. Anyway, I did not dwell on it too much.

At 9.20 AM

Miss: leaving 'city' now

next visit at the earliest 6 weeks

After this I was able to catch up on some much needed sleep. After I woke up I felt a lot more composed about my feelings. Going over the time stamps of our text messages, I was able to come to a conclusion that Miss possibly arrived in 'city' after 10 PM last night. I would not finish work until after midnight, so there was no possibility to meet then. She had an early appointment at 8 AM. Even though she was considering meeting before the appointment I realise that would be pushing it. Going by her last text at 9.20 AM today it is evident that she really did not have time after the appointment.

Having come to this conclusion I felt that Miss was on a very tight schedule and therefore meeting up was indeed almost possible. I felt a lot better after this. However, I still feel that if this were clearly communicated to me instead of me having to draw conclusions, I would never felt frustrated or upset. Instead I would have been very understanding and mature about it as I am now.

Anyway, I am glad to be over those negative feelings so I can now go back to doing things that make Miss happy. She has given me a lot of information about things that interest her. I need to process all this and document it in an easily accessible format. Miss has made me responsible for researching performances, shows, festivals, exhibitions etc that are taking place in cities that she visits. I am to find such events and advise her of timing/place etc so she may make a decision on whether she would like to attend or not.

There is more to my duties than just looking for opportunities of entertainment. I am also to look out for stuff she enjoys indulging in (massages, spas etc) and then other things that help her get through day to day work and make her life easier. I hope to do all of this and make her happy with my service.

Again, my mind casts back to the point of communication. To serve her well and in a timely manner I would need to know more details about her trips especially with regards to destinations and timing. I do realise she is extremely busy and sometimes unable to take the time for lengthy chat. Therefore, perhaps I am over reacting. Unfortunately it is just how I felt at that moment. 

It took me lot of deliberation to decide to post these feelings here. Eventually I figured that not all our interactions will be positive. Like any relation, there will be some unpleasant situations. It is important to express these so they can remedied if possible. Miss wanted this blog to be about my feelings and thoughts. Therefore, I thought it was appropriate to post this here. 

Very early in our interactions we decided to base this relation on mutual respect. So, I hope we can discuss this in a sensible manner and strengthen what we already have today.

I am still locked up since wed night. I wonder when Miss would allow me release.