Initial Diary Review

Date of occurrence : 21-Feb-12

I recieved a brief call from Miss. She had a follow up task for me. You may recall in the post "The First Assignment" Miss wanted me to review an online diary called Maria's Diary http://mariasdiary.com/.  To recap, the theme of the diary  was Femdom with a strong emphasis on extreme cuckolding. You may also recall that I sent her the following email as I started reading the diary.

Greetings Miss,

Just letting you know that I am reviewing the blog you sent me. I'm sure this must come as no surprise to you, that I am finding myself getting distracted every few paragraphs. It is incredibly erotic and so close to some of my fantasies.

It had been 3 days since I started reading and Miss wanted to know how far I had progressed. I told her I had so far only read the first 25% of the diary. She asked me to write my thoughts on the diary and explain how my fantasies coincided with Maria's Diary (as I had stated in the email above).

The next day I sent my thoughts in an email to her. The relevant extract has been copied below for everyone to read.

My interests in cuckolding are relatively a recent development. When I first heard of cuckolding somewhere in my twenties, it did not interest me at all. Despite considering myself to very kinky, I thought it was quite a turn off back then. However, since my early thirties, the desire to be cuckolded has become stronger. Today, I feel a deep need to be cuckolded. Having said that, I realise the reality of it may be totally different from fantasy. If I ever decided to make this a reality, it would have to be in baby steps and very well thought through.

I consider cuckolding to be my most extreme fantasy. Cuckolding in my opinion is less about the physical but more about the psychological. In terms of sheer mental torment, a submissive could not be subjugated to a more excruciating ordeal. To see or imagine his significant other be made love to and pleasured by another man is extremely nerve wracking. Whilst there are many couples that engage in MFM threesomes, this is a totally different ball game. Cuckolding is done to let the cuckold know he is not good enough and is sexually inferior.

Reading through the blog has sent my cuckold fantasies into overdrive and has left me wanting to bring these cuckolding fantasies into reality. I have imagined myself in Martin’s place so many times before but I could never dream up a woman like Maria. Even in my wildest and most uninhibited cuckold scenarios I could not picture someone even half as dominant, sexy, kinky, depraved and cruel as Maria. (As a side note, I am a bit skeptical about the reality of the diary).

My biggest fear about cuckolding is not the humiliation that I will undoubtedly experience; nor is it the pain of seeing my partner with a superior lover; it is the very likely possibility that one day she may leave me for one of her studs that plays on my mind the most. This is my biggest reservation about being cuckolded. This may come as a surprise to you, but I have never ever discussed cuckolding with anyone before…neither in person nor online.

I have been too wary of the reality that even talking about the fantasy has so far been off limits. Besides, I have never met anyone in real life or for that matter online that has previously expressed an interest in cuckolding. So, you can imagine the sense of anticipation and excitement I feel about my interactions with you. Don’t get me wrong, I do not expect you to fulfil any of my cuckold desires. I am a well grounded individual in that regard and do not jump the gun. Just the fact that I am opening up to you in this way is very liberating. So, Thank You Miss for accepting my application to be your writing sub. Also thank you for making me write this letter to you. I have wanted to talk about this with someone for a long time and this takes a huge burden off my chest. At this stage, I am happy to just write and talk to you about this. I would love to discuss elaborate cuckold scenarios with you (of course only if you shall permit)

There are two aspects of cuckolding that really fire up my passions. The ritualistic preparation & Goddess worship before the date AND the clean up duties after the date. I just love the thought of selecting the sexiest of lingerie, the classiest of outfits and tongue washing the deadliest of high heel shoes for her to wear to her date. The process of giving her a warm & sensual bath or shower; towelling her dry, doing her hair and then dressing her up are all intimate tasks that I would absolutely love to do. Finally to kiss her shiny leather shoes as she leaves for the night would be just divine.

The after date duties are just as magical. The very sight of her returning home with a sated smile is what a cuckold lives for. Then there is the task of cleaning her up in the delicate, soft and sensual manner. As she lays on the bed and spreads her leg, her short dress rides up to reveal her very wet panties. The smell of her arousal is just intoxicating. I bury my nose into the wet panties and just take in her essence. I flick my tongue to taste her juices mixed with her musky perspiration that has been infused into the lacy material of her sexy underwear. On her instruction I take the panties off. I bury my nose and take deep breaths. Then as she gives the command, I lay soft, sensual and delicate kisses and licks to her red, raw, sore and gaping pussy. I am in Cuckold Heaven now.

I know the reality of what I just described may invoke totally different and conflicting emotions in me. Which is why I feel that should I ever go down this route, it would have to be with someone who I am deeply attached to and she to me (like Martin and Maria) or it would have to be with someone that I have almost no emotional attachment to. I hope you get where I am coming from here.

I wish I could be more than just a long distance writing sub. I so desperately wish I could be the houseboy that you have currently advertised for. I know I keep beating on about the houseboy position…I do apologise for that. It’s just that it is my favourite form of service and something I am not only well experienced in but also very good at. So I feel very unfortunate that I cannot serve you in that capacity because of the distance. Especially since you have already accepted me as a long distance sub, I feel I would have served you well in person.

Well Miss, I will end this email now. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I hope it was what you were expecting. I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback on this if possible. Also, if you have any specific questions to ask I would be more than happy to answer them for you.

Have a good day and look forward to speaking with you again.